Monday, 18 June 2012

A Rambling Train of Thoughts


So my brain is telling me that I had an excellent idea for something to write about. Except this idea is now several days old and I have no clue what it was now. I am merely rambling on, making no real point in the hopes of remembering said idea. I’m not getting on very well so far. I’m pretty sure it was nothing to do with a concrete scenario, more an abstract thought.

It might have been connected to the human desire to be desired, or that could be something entirely new I came up with just now. Either way, it may be worth writing about too.

It also may be a short story or a piece of fiction, but not one I’ve already done. But I don’t know what it was going to be about.

For some reason my mind also keeps jumping back to One Tree Hill. This may be because I’ve spent the last month watching the entire first 3 seasons (and I’m still going on the fourth), but I think what I’m doing is similar to stuff like Lucas’ writing and Peyton’s podcasts. And yes, I realise how sad this entire paragraph just sounded.

I’m intending on continuing the fantasy story I’ve been trying to write for about 2 years now, but every time I go back to it, I feel like it’s overdone and generally not that good. Which would be why I haven’t even finished the first chapter. But I do have an entire plot outline, which I really can’t be bothered to re-do. But I feel like it’s predictable and a bit silly in places. So I’m not really sure what to do with it.

There’s also the fairy-tale thing I started, but I’ll probably go back to the start of that because the narrative voice is pissing me off no end right now. It also sounds really unrealistic and clichéd, but that’s kind of its point, so I need to just make myself go with it.

But none of this is helping me remember the idea that I’m trying to remember right now. My lack of future plans maybe? Leading to a larger thing on the point/meaning of life?

Maybe it doesn’t matter too much if I don’t get that idea back. But maybe it’s important to write more down. It’s one of those things that I always try to do but it never lasts very long, then I always wish I’d kept it up. So maybe now I should try harder to do that. Not everything I write down is going to be any good, but maybe the more I write the better the chances are that once in a while something halfway decent will come out. I guess the point is just to write, and not plan absolutely everything in advance. I mean, if I do want to write a long story, or something resembling a novel, I’d have to plan, but I could just write anything in between, I don’t have to do that, and that alone. Sort of like I’m doing now.

Diaries never lasted long with me, because a lot of the time my day to day life didn’t hold anything of great importance. But now I’m starting to think maybe it does, just not in the way I thought before. I always wrote down what I did, but maybe sometimes I should be focussing on how I did it or what I thought. There’s not much exciting about cleaning windows or watching TV, but sometimes your mind goes places without you really trying, and maybe that’s worth remembering. I guess that’s why I switched to a journal sort of thing, but it’s mostly photos, lyrics and significant memories of big events, including mementos like tickets. Which is fine, I’ll be glad I have it one day, but it doesn’t always capture my thoughts either.

So maybe I should just sit and do this now and again, just write down whatever is going through my head. Maybe a spark of genius will pop out one day. Unlikely, but it might be worth a shot. Every time I decide to write a blog post I pick a specific topic and plan it and make sure it’s going to be a certain length. But maybe I don’t have to. Maybe it’s better just to start writing spontaneously, and see what happens, then post it anyway. I’ve no idea who reads this, or if they care at all. So maybe it doesn’t matter what I write, as long as it’s honest and means something to me, even it’s not some great literary work.

So I’ve just unfolded an entire thought process that started with trying to remember an idea, and finished up with committing to writing more, regardless of what I actually end up writing. Which I guess is better in some ways. Thousands of ideas are lost or forgotten all the time, and I’ve just added one more to that unknown list. But at least now I’m doing something a bit more worthwhile with my time, by writing it all down and preserving my thoughts, no matter how odd or insignificant they may seem, so that hopefully if a good idea does come out of it all, I won’t miss it this time.

Or maybe I’ll just spend forever rambling about nothing in particular. Only time, and writing it down, will tell.

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